About

Luke Giordano is a comedian and television writer who has written for Two and a Half Men (briefly) and Nickelodeon's Marvin Marvin. He's alright.

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TWITTER SUCKS: #WhyThisNationIsInDecline

It’s almost a foregone conclusion that America is in decline right now. Why this is could be attributed to various factors, economic, historical, and political that fit together in a very complex and confusing way. Or it could be something summed up by some idiot on Twitter in a hundred and forty characters. Either one. [...]

THE FOUNDING FATHERS WEIGH IN: Donald Trump as debate moderator

Periodically, I will communicate with the men who are considered to be America’s Seven Key Founding Fathers to solicit their opinions on contemporary American life. Today, I’ve asked them all about the news that Donald Trump is set to moderate a Republican presidential debate.

John Adams: Is it too late to call King George [...]

THE FOUNDING FATHERS WEIGH IN: Black Friday Edition

Periodically, I will communicate with the men who are considered to be America’s Seven Key Founding Fathers to solicit their opinions on contemporary American life. Today, I’ve asked them all about the Black Friday Shopping Day.

John Adams: If I had known this was how America was going to end up, I would have [...]

Perfectly legitimate reasons to boo a soldier

At last night’s Republican primary debate, several members of the audience booed a gay soldier posing a question to the candidates. Obviously, you should not boo a soldier, much less anyone, because he is gay. But since soldiers give up so much for us, you might be wondering when is the appropriate time to boo [...]

Grover Cleveland facts!

In honor of the two hundred-and-somethingth birthday of this great nation, I want to celebrate this occasion with some lesser-known facts about one of our lesser-known, yet best presidents, Grover Cleveland. Sure, you may be familiar with Chuck Norris facts, but these are facts of an entirely different sort.

Grover Cleveland doesn’t sleep … he’s [...]

USA! USA! USA! (Let’s get things straight, Justin Bieber).

How much I love my country is directly proportionate to how much foreigners talk shit about it. Nothing gets my heart pounding, my pride swelling, and Lee Greenwood playing like somebody who got no business saying bad things about my home. Case in point, Justin Bieber opened his full, sensuous Canadian lips in an interview [...]

Lesser known quotes from famous Americans

“The great thing about owning people is that you can make them have sex with you.” -Thomas Jefferson, our third President

“I really hope somebody doesn’t get the wrong idea about this assembly line thing and take it too far. Unless they kill Jews, that is.” -Henry Ford, auto-maker and Jew-hater

“I had a dream [...]